karanguni: (Default)
Late to the party, once more. These days I don't even know where the party is, or who was invited, or if the party even exists...

Assignments:

Import/Export (4757 words) by karanguni
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Culture - Iain M. Banks
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Cheradenine Zakalwe
Additional Tags: random guest appearances
Summary:

It's a fucking corn field, he realised. They put me in the middle of a fucking corn field.



Rearranging The Backroom Closet (9038 words) by karanguni
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Breakfast with Scot (2007)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Eric McNally/Sam Miller
Characters: Eric McNally, Sam Miller
Additional Tags: random guest appearances, sorry NHL
Summary:

'How do you not know anything about the Leafs?' Eric blinks, shocked straight back into justified incredulity. 'You live in Toronto! You're actually Canadian!'



Both were way too much fun to write, and both would have been way longer if I hadn't had the planning capabilities of a dumb slug and the immune system of a weak child.

Treats:

I am no a/b/o writer, and yet...

Decanted, Slowly (1893 words) by karanguni
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Aral Vorkosigan/Ges Vorrutyer, Aral Vorkosigan/Aral Vorkosigan's First Wife
Characters: Aral Vorkosigan, Aral Vorkosigan's First Wife, Ges Vorrutyer
Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Summary:

He wrote Giana, perhaps to spite his father or to mollify himself. Letters about the emptiness of space and other claptrap; when he could bring himself to, he also included a spare drawing or too. Most of it was of military ordinance, because I'm in want of better subjects.

Ges wrote him, like a self-refreshing wound; chipper stories about his Academy days, and then darker ones about the alphas his father was shopping him to and the way they smelled, each scent dissected into notes as though Ges were decanting fine wines.



Sorry, Q.

Beam Me Up (2679 words) by karanguni
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Culture - Iain M. Banks, James Bond (Craig movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Q (Bond - Craig movies), Cheradenine Zakalwe, Diziet Sma
Additional Tags: random guest appearances, Crossover
Summary:

'It's a DB 10,' Q agreed, going absent-minded again the way he did, Zakalwe noticed, when the work was more interesting than the people. 'Besides all of the regulars, it's got rockets and a flamethrower and a boot full of caltrops. Speaking,' Q looked up, 'in layman's terms, obviously.'



Meanwhile, in Illyan land...

Orbit (2514 words) by karanguni
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Aral Vorkosigan, Simon Illyan, Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan
Summary:

Cordelia put one finger on the far edge of his plate and nudged it closer towards him. 'For all love, Simon,' she said, with accusingly gentle tones. 'Is ImpSec so poorly paid that we could ransom your honour with one warm meal?'






All in all, I wanted to write 5 things, and I wanted to write at least 15K, and I managed both! Somehow! Magically. With a lot of stress, because work sort of blew up and then I was exhausted on those plane flights home and then got rolled over by a well-timed and ill-met visit by some wandering norovirus.

I'm really sort of eyebrow-fuzzling at myself about what I want to do for yuletide 2016 - this year was kind of meh for me on the reading front, but it's also the only fandom activity I do anymore, and I really A+ enjoy the writing. On the other hand, I think it's going to push me to pick up a few more canons that I've had on the backburner, so... \o/?

If anyone has any canons they'd like to throw my way, I'd super appreciate any pimping of any kind.

Now to try and wrangle some energy up for fandom_stocking...
karanguni: (BALTHIER beckons)
The Jardine Matheson Corporation - to summarise: Hong Kong, the early-to-mid 1800s. Shipping company! Smuggling opium into China for Great Profit! Being otherwise a very legitimate shipping company that seeks Independence and Liberty from the East India Company's monopoly over trade in the region! Politics! Letters sent over the course of the Opium War! It's exciting and I promise I'll make it even more unbelievably insane, even though it's hard to compete with a reality that involves Captains of ships almost starting international accidents, Owners of Companies who have glibber tongues and stunning eloquence and skulls that CAN WITHSTAND BEING BELTED IN BY CLUBS, late British colonialism that is oddly both reluctant and ridiculously effective at the same time, and two good friends who come from completely separate backgrounds taking over a new economic world. HAVE I PIMPED HARD ENOUGH? And in between there is everything about Hong Kong that I have ever wanted to research and spend time appreciating and combing through that I now will! /o/ \o\

J & M

Fandom: Historical fiction: 1800s Hong Kong, Jardine-Matheson &c.
Rating: PG
Characters: Jardine, Matheson, cameos by a bunch of other historical figures
Summary:

Correspondence between the Estimable Mssrs. James Matheson and William Jardine, now and later of the Jardine Matheson Corporation in Hong Kong, detailing in personal colours the trials and tribulations that accompany the establishment of such a Shipping Company in such a time when Her Majesty's interests are both Colonial and Economic and Diplomatic.

Mssr. Matheson, having been blessed with good birthing and more than respectable living circumstances, must be excused for his eloquence. Mssr. Jardine, having been blessed by hard living and leanness, but be excused for his frightening ability.



1066 words and a lot of banter!

Dear James, am in England, please do not do anything too rash that may make us too rich in the next few months -- )
karanguni: (TSENG smiles)
Back to Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core! It's like I never left. 8D This one - and the ones that'll hopefully come after it - is meant to be part of some lazy set of lighter-hearted drabbles about Shinra. 8D WE'LL SEE HOW IT WORKS OUT. This one floats alone in the old sea of the odd Zack and Tseng drabble-era.

Prompts are perfectly welcome in the comments. The more hilarious the better!

A July Day (Some People Know Too Much)

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII (Crisis Core timeline)
Characters: Zack, Tseng; random guest appearance by Kunsel
Rating: PG
Warnings: Gen, and humour, alas!
Summary: Zack whiles away a July day, and figures that some people just know too much.

2185 words and an inability to keep things short!

Zack whistled under his breath. 'This is one crazy city.' )
karanguni: is full of medical knowledge (BONES' paranoia)
For [livejournal.com profile] bessemerprocess's prompt: Star Trek Reboot, The Crew, what tradition does Star Fleet have for crew members crossing the warp speed barrier for the first time? How does this get celebrated on the Enterprise?

To The Enterprise: of Warp Barriers, Captains, and Other Scary Things

Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Rating: PG
Characters: Chekov, Scotty, Kirk, Spock
Summary: Mr. Spock's eyes flick towards the blatantly huge and complicated (and exciting) and blatantly huge mathematical and engineering schematics on the console screen. Chekov can practically see the cogs in Mr. Spock's mind whirr - he is very, very fast at telemetry, which means there is probably no getting around the fact that what they have here is a plan to break the current warp speed record into many small pieces. Pavel wonders if that is the only thing that will be broken.

2734 words and lots of fail!invented!maths. 8D

Mr. Spock clears his throat. 'Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov,' he intones, and Chekov feels his spine try to straighten itself in a fit of biological self-preservation. 'How long more before we clear the Farmonion Corridor and re-enter established Federation space?' )
karanguni: (BALTHIER beckons)
[livejournal.com profile] ellnyx and I were talking [livejournal.com profile] nasdack, and in between lots of guilty feelings and a lot of random conversational tidbits, she provided this prompt: Balthier/Tseng/Rufus - inversion of roles/ceremony - love came in accordance with what he promised, and not only out of gratitude. And lo, I have written something:

~900 words. Tseng/Rufus/Balthier. Very soft R.

Tseng doesn't offer any explanation when Rufus looks at him in askance. 'I'm sorry we're late,' he says instead. )


THEN SOMEHOW, TENTACLES GOT MENTIONED. Mayhap it is because shoe-kink still is unfathomable to Nyx, she instead jumps forward towards tentacles:

(12:13:58 AM) nyx: b/t/r, TENTACLE SEX
(12:14:00 AM) K: OKAY
(12:14:02 AM) K: YOU ARE ON
...
(12:14:11 AM) K: I WILL TENTACLE SEX THOSE THREE
(12:14:16 AM) nyx: NO NONO
(12:14:23 AM) K: WHAT IS THAT YOU ARE SAYING
(12:14:24 AM) K: YES YES YES?
(12:14:25 AM) nyx: THOSE THREE SEX THE TENTACLES
...
(12:14:44 AM) K: RUFUS DARING BALTHIER OR VICE VERSA
(12:14:45 AM) nyx: YES
...
(12:14:52 AM) K: SUCKERS
(12:14:53 AM) nyx: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Now that I have ascertained that this is NOT MY FAULT, I am here to enable. Here we go, tentacle porn. Or, uh, the closest I could get to it, anyway. NOT BRAIN SAFE. NOT HEAD SAFE. It's almost work safe. BUT IT HAS TENTACLES. FOR [livejournal.com profile] nasdack VERSE. If that doesn't warn you, NOTHING WILL! I blame the meds and 350am! CAVEAT LECTOR.

[edit] NOW KNOWN AS:

SQUID PRO QUO

Warnings for squick! ~900 words. R. Tseng, Rufus, Balthier/DRUG PRODUCING TENTACLE MONSTER.

Crack, tentacles, and, uh, yeah. Crack and tentacles. )


[[edit]]

I think it is fair warning to direct readers to the copy of this post on nasdack, where, in the comments, Nyx illustrates how she is 2000 times crazier than I am.
karanguni: (Default)
During A Knight's Tale DVD commentary:

Brian (Director): [commenting on Heath Ledger's character getting his arm relocated and a rub-down by Paul Bettany at the same time] Again, you're giving him kind of a rubdown while his shoulder's dislocated - I'm not sure that's, uh, medically correct.

Paul: Ah, uh, no. I just like to give men rubdowns when they dislocate any... any bit of them, really.



On Rufus Sewell's "live sex" parties:

Brian: ... troubadours.

Paul: Troubadours used to sing songs about... sex, actually.

Brian: In fact, at the bottom of Rufus' flat, there'd be troubadours to welcome you and sing songs about past visitors.



Before a potential sex scene:

Paul: I think now it's evident that they're about to f-- play chess, or dominoes.



Regarding a line:

Brian: "Revelling the night"; that doesn't happen very much any more, does it? No, unless it's in Rufus' apartment in Prague.

Paul: There was a lot of revelling.

Brian: And I think when Rufus rides up and says "committing the oldest sins in the newest ways", he knows what he's talking about.

Heath's character: As promised you before, you will look up at it from the flat of your back.

Paul: See, another tempting opportunity for a double entendre, and not taken - Brian, I'm ashamed of you.



Regarding Rufus' character getting to Heath's:

Paul: Yes, he's getting under Heath's skin just like herpes might.


I WANT TO WRITE PAUL BETTANY/RUFUS SEWEL FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON NOW.
karanguni: (Anderson COOPER says ?)
Somehow, I just keep sending myself to hell over and over and over again. It's like some terminal illness inspired by [livejournal.com profile] evercourant. SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP ME. Disclaimer again: I DON'T KNOW THEM. I DON'T - OH GOD - WANT TO DO ANYTHING TO THEM. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME. THIS IS ALL FICTION. I PLEAD INSANITY.

Pundits/Rahm, again. Follows up from this crazy thing.

All's Fair in War and, Well. Mostly Just War

Fandom: Pundits and fakepolitics
Characters: Rahm and Anderson, with Stephen and Jon.
Rating: PG13.
Summary: Anderson really wants his friends to just get along. It's all right; Rahm will make that (censored) happen.

2192 words, and please someone shoot me in the head, it would be a mercykilling.

'You got a chance to send him a Christmas gift and you didn't send him anthrax?' )
karanguni: (RAHM shhh)
TWO FICS IN ONE BECAUSE I'M SERIOUSLY AFRAID OF GOING TO HELL. I actually am going to slap a disclaimer on this: I KNOW NOTHING. I KNOW NO ONE. ALL OF THIS IS FAKE. PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME.

Anderson Cooper/Rahm Emanuel

PG13, 2780 words and Rahm Emanuel picking up a new boy.

Caveat lector: I know close to nothing about CNN, and even less about politics! But that's okay, because Anderson Cooper is hot. I have no title for this thing, but it goes out to [livejournal.com profile] haydn (who propogated the idea with these blisteringly hot pictures of A.Cooper), [livejournal.com profile] charlie_d_blue and [livejournal.com profile] evercourant, all my psychotic enablers.


Rahm Emanuel does not make friends; he makes allies, makes family, he makes protégés and then he makes those protégés into men.  )

Fic 2:

My only excuse is... I have no excuse. Pundits/Rahmfic, ho!

Take Me To The Liberalmediagame

Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Anderson Cooper and Rahm Emanuel. PG13. 2452 words.

Stephen wants Rahm on the Report. Rahm just wants, more or less, to make Anderson laugh. Sort-of-not-really follow up post to the fic above.

This is the fault of [livejournal.com profile] evercourant, whom I stole a few lines from, and also [livejournal.com profile] kaiserkuchen, who provided sinful pictures and links to AC stuff.

Caveat lector: I am so new to these people that sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing. 8D

Rahm gives him a four-and-a-half wave goodbye. )
karanguni: (RENO turns)
I'm probably going to regret this when I wake up tomorrow. Today. Something:

So, most of the stuff on [livejournal.com profile] nasdack is pretty serious stuff. Well, sometimes. Big long fic. More than 500 words. Hard to read when you just want a short, sharp dose of feel-good.

Well.



That, and more, at the downjones.

The concept: happy hilarity. Not always ever serious. Sometimes you get real bits of finance, thrown in when K is feeling particularly delirious. Or Nyx doing some magic with the characters.

In truth: if Reno had a blog. That's all I'm saying.

For your convenience: there's an rss lj feed that you can friend: [livejournal.com profile] downingjones.

In conclusion: going to hell now, and bed.
karanguni: (BALTHIER beckons)
IT'S GROWING INTO SOME BIZARRE KIND OF MONSTER. I warn you. I wrote this under the influence of a green tea latte and Britney Spears. Your sanity is not insured, no more than your financial instruments are.

Some Things You Can't Buy, For Everything Else There's The Theoretical Joint Bunansa-Shinra Empire

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII/Final Fantasy XII/The Stockmarket
Characters: Balthier/Tseng, Rufus/Tseng
Rating: Soft R
Summary: Tseng's in New York, Balthier's in London, and Rufus is in the sky as the world burns around them. Hedging on futures can be such tricky things.
Functional explanation: The stock markets exploded. Balthier, Rufus and Tseng are hot. This comment thread happened.
Inflicted upon the world by: [livejournal.com profile] logistika_nyx and [livejournal.com profile] karanguni

Previous episodes:

Part the first
Part the second

You don't really have to read them in any order. I don't even know if we have an order.

2636 words and ho'shit, five thousand backstories! \o\

'Good boy,' Tseng says with a smile. )

[edit] Now with additional Deleted Scenes and sex in the comments! Hooray! \o\
karanguni: (BALTHIER works)
Strange Untitled Stockmarket!AU

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII/Final Fantasy XII/The Stock Exchange
Rating: PG-99
Characters: Balthier/Tseng, Tseng/Rufus
Summary: Tseng's in New York, Balthier's in London, and Rufus is in the sky as the world burns around them. Hedging on futures can be such tricky things.
Functional explanation: It's all [livejournal.com profile] logistika_nyx's fault. A good chunk of this belongs to her, adapted to fit the situation and tense. You can read the original crack-ery here to see precisely which bits. Nyx: I apologise. Profusely. But probably not profusely enough.

Mostly, this is just a trader!AU: in which Tseng and Balthier make money on the gone-to-shit stock markets of our world. And Rufus waggles his eyebrows a bit. Hooray!

2425 words and oh, such a hell I am going to for this. Beware un-beta'd tense shifts!

'Are you an optimist?' Balthier would say into the receiver, when Tseng picked up. )
karanguni: (danny OCEAN)
Title: Making Family
Fandom: Baccano!/Ocean's 11
Characters: Claire, Danny
Rating: PG
Warnings: Written for no true pair. Oh my god, crossover genfic! There's slash. But only if you sort of turn your head sideways and squint.
Summary: Danny doesn't want to have kids; Claire would kill to have some. It doesn't take too long before Danny realises, maybe this kid isn't so bad after all --

1528 words and really bad recruiting skills. I HAVE NO EXCUSE.

Not there was anything to make easier, because Danny wasn't doing this, because if Danny did do it Rusty would have a -- )
karanguni: (uh HAWKEYE)
So. I haven't written anything in ages, I have an exam tomorrow, my brains are falling out of my ears, and 0TP on IJ starts up a new week worth of prompts. So I look at the list, and in my caffeine high, it strikes me that no one ever said I couldn't write Epic Poetry (TM) for 0TP, right?

Right. If you're expecting my usual. Um. Well. I apologise sincerely to fans of both Final Fantas VII and Baccano! alike. I tried to think of a good one. This is all my brain gave me. D8

Title: A Tale of Two Turks
Fandom: Baccano!/Final Fantasy VII
Characters: Luck and Tseng
Rating: PG13
Warnings: The prompt was: Tseng and Luck as the main characters in a fairy tale. Crack, anachronisms and rhyming couplets. Think old school Will Smith rap while you read. Yes. Yes.
Summary: Tseng and Luck in a quest for Shinra and the Greater Good.

666 (-111) words and god I am going to hell. I have no excuse, except that maybe I have an exam in 9 hours ahksafjlsf.

[edit] Now with more accurate rhyming metre!

A fairy tale in 15 stanzas. )
karanguni: (RUFUS' clothes)
I wish I had an excuse for this, but I really, really don't. *beams* Well, it was written for the roads diverged challenge over at IJ (prompt: reality show), but some things you can't even blame on prompts and AUs.

Title: Survivor: Icicle Inn
Characters: Tseng/Rufus; Reno cameo
Rating: PG (swearing)
Summary: Tseng is going to have to outwit, outplay and outlast whether he likes it or not.
Warnings: More AU than you can shake a stick at. Humour. Probably more of that than you can shake a stick at, too. I think using the tv show Survivor also counts as pretty brain breaking. The application form is real, too.

3139 words and a cunning, cunning plan.

They signed him up for it as prank; well, sort of. )
karanguni: (roy MUSTANG)
Sat down today and threshed out a couple of the prompts from a few days ago. RL kicked me in the face for a while, so response this time is a bit slow. D: ♥ to everyone, and [livejournal.com profile] obabscribbler I swear I will wrench that Cissnei/Zack thing from the depths of my brain eventually! For now:

Wings: Balthier/Reno for [livejournal.com profile] ununoriginal (probably not what you were asking for, sorry!) None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free.

794 words, because my brain doesn't seem to understand the concept of "drabble".

You've got wings. )

Rookie: Elena and the Turks, for [livejournal.com profile] aikonamika. Fitting into the job is hard for everyone; it's particularly hard when you keep wondering if they're looking down on you because you're a girl. It's even harder when you have a crush on your superior officer.

1595 words, and have I ever mentioned that I have real issues when it comes to drabbles? Warnings for language and a few almost-not-quite NSFW scenes.

She didn't ask questions of what she was, only who. )


Also, a repost of the shoes-and-FFVII-people tidbit from the comments in the previous post:

Mmm, the taste of crack in the morning. )

Doubleplus: flist meme! Well, not really, but for serious - I don't know you guys half as well as I should. I barely know which country most of you guys are in. *g* So:

i. Where are you from? (eg: Earth?)
ii. What do you do? (eg: professional paint dryer?)
iii. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow Which fandoms do you sail ships for?
iv. Poker or blackjack? (because this is rly, rly important)
v. Ask me a question (eg: "how many legs do you have?")

So if you're new to the flist (and even if you aren't), or if you've been reading but not saying anything, STAB THE COMMENT BUTTON AND SAY HELLO. No one will bite!

AND TRUTH: MORE PEOPLE NEED TO JOIN [livejournal.com profile] this_program. 8D

PROMPTCALL

Apr. 15th, 2008 12:36 am
karanguni: (ED high)
This entry is going to be full of nonsense, because I'm stuck sitting up at my laptop when I should really be asleep, and the only answer for this is fic, and tea, and probably the gouging out of eyeballs tomorrow morning.

Promptcall!



Once again, the friendly vampire of insanity has bitten me on the neck, and it's a free-for-all call for anything to do with Final Fantasy VII, Baccano!, Gundam Wing (mostly the Magnificent Bastard people of Wing, aka the Best Friends make for Better Enemies lot), Good Omens, Ocean's Arithmetic 11 (+1/2) and Final Fantasy XII's (Archadians, please). Go!

To spur you/me on, here, have a completely unrelated and far too cracky drabble that my ocha-fuelled brain has produced!

Hapless SOLDIERs (Third Class) A, B and C discuss SOLDIER, First Class

Why would I be jealous of a man who has incredible amounts of leeway within the Company, apparently no limit to his paycheck, a ridiculously overpowered inventory -- have you seen what Science gives him? -- and almost unwarranted popularity amongst both SOLDIER and the female demographic? )

[Edit:] The comments are where all the replies are going to go. Right now, we've got:

- Final Fantasy VII characters and their hobbies (Rufus, Sephiroth, Angeal, Tseng)
- Final Fantasy VII characters and their shoes (man, I love you guys and your brains) (Elena, Tseng, Zack)

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A universe of unmapped grief and love
And new master light is beyond
The pleiades and plow and southern stars.

O soaring
Icarus of outworld, burn bright
The traceries of known skymarks,
Slide the highway planets behind
Your clear waxed wings.

Go conquer the everywhere left
Beyond your sad confinement
In a predicted bonehouse,
Witch thrown riddle of flesh
And water.

O soar until nothing
remains but great glittering holes
In the black godspun shirt over your head.

- John Fairfax