tl;dr

Feb. 1st, 2017 02:03 am
karanguni: (Default)
- Am away on vacation, ergo the afk
- Fuck Trump &c.
- Stay healthy and hydrated and look after yourselves, people
karanguni: (Default)
Boy is taking a shower and I am sitting here reflecting on the strangeness that is my life after 25 years.

Read more... )

Weerrrds

Jan. 21st, 2016 09:58 pm
karanguni: (Bebop SMOKING)
So, in an attempt to not be totally a shambles for [community profile] getyourwordsout, I'm keeping track of how much I'm writing drabbles in my RP as well. Which is a strange thing to do, since a) I've written in this format and with Elemental for so long it... barely even counts? It's as second-nature as breathing to me most days now, and having that other person around to both cheerlead and read in a zero-stress, not-here-to-impress mode is like having nuclear energy in an otherwise steam-powered era. That metaphor got away from me. Also b) since it's almost 100% original characters or iterations at this point, there's no fret. There's no plot, even though there is a lot of accidental plot. It's mindless self indulgence and

I realise that's utterly the point of something like this challenge: to general enough critical mass that I find myself at a point where I can declare the garbage heap a mountain of potential instead /grumbles

Still, it's hard – I've written most of my best fics when I was alone. And now I've got about... 0 personal time? I wake up, I do 15 minutes of stretches, I write in longhand, get breakfast, then go code for 8 hours. I get home, make dinner, optionally go to the gym, eat dinner, then watch tv with Boy for a few hours, bang out some RP on the side, and then fall asleep in a haze. Weekdays barely exist for me. Weekends are better, but a lot of it is recovering from the weekday.

Blathering )

Hurrah! You've made it through an entirely rambling post about mental health diagnositics, way too much personal information, and Aristotle. /o\ To think that post was supposed to be "I want more personal time in the evenings" and nothing more...
karanguni: (VINO in red)
Now that work has ended, life is getting pretty peachy -- I've written one thing, drafted a whole bunch of others, am pretty sure that I'll be meeting my fic/draft-a-day personal helldeadline and the sun has come out for the first time in weeks to roast my holidaying skin!

At the back of my head is the silent, screaming terror that says I'm going back to school in less than a fortnight. I'm ignoring it in favour of my spiffy new room and state of new-found doing-things-dom. 8D 8D

Happily, I've managed to read more than one book this break, which puts the list at:

Jean RhysWide Sargasso Sea
Gustav FlaubertMadame Bovary
Kawabata YusunariPalm of the Hand Stories
Milan KunderaThe Unbearable Lightness of Being
Philip PullmanThe Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ
William GoldingLord of the Flies


Which is really not bad, all things considered! I feel like I've under-read (things still on the list: Steinbeck's East of Eden (wailvoice); Murakami's The Wind-up Bird Chronicle (MEGAWAIL); all of my philosophy reading?!), but at the same time it's the most fiction-for-leisure I've read in a long number of years. ♥ ♥ *burbles hearts*

Wide Sargasso Sea I'd always been meaning to read; one of those things where the title was attractive in and of itself. Didn't know how out of the loop I'd be for not having read Jane Eyre, but uh, shame on me! The opening line = /o/ \o\.

Philip Pullman was interesting for how much it echoes, reverses, builds up on existing translations of the Bible. Proof that some lines just stick?

Golding was the hardest to read of the lot. Not because it's The Lord of the Flies, but because his lyricism would throw me off like a suddenly spooked horse.

In other news, getting more design-y by the day; looking forward to some coding and drafting in the near 72 hours!

p.s: apologies for the <abbr> overkill. 8D
karanguni: (roy MUSTANG)
Randomly surfing through local street names and places for both work and pleasure, and I hit up a few walking tours. One of them talks about red lanterns, which is a hoity kind of euphemism for the old, long-gone prostitution areas near Chinatown, but I clicked on it anyway and it listed the sites -

The Street of the Dead, it listed. It made me stop for a little while because no one calls it that - or, at least, I don't remember ever having been introduced to the street in English. I hear it in Cantonese in my head, sae yan gaei, which is far more damning - Dead Man's Street. They left sick people in those shophouses there to die, way back when.*

I don't remember why I remember these things. My country sneak attacks me! Does anyone else's country sneak attack them? ♥


[edit] *AND BECAUSE I AM WHO I AM this story actually comes with a crucial bit of hilarity. The word "street" and "chicken" in Cantonese are so tonally similar to my ears that I can't differentiate the two most of the time. There's meant to be more of a vowel-sound inflection on one of them - "gAI" as opposed to "gaEi" - but I can never get them right, and my parents think it is hilarious. I mean, Dead Man Chicken. DRAMATIQUE!!
karanguni: (Bebop SMOKING)
Sudden urge to go back to my old school, attach myself to my teachers, and never let go. These people have changed my life in ways they - and I - can't even imagine. What I am is 50% part of what they made me. The rest is just what I did with that 50% in the time that's come after. How do I ever say good-bye to these people, now that some of the really important ones are leaving? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't compute. They've change the course of my life; it seems illogical to just float on.

Tell me your stories, guys? Who has changed your lives? Did you keep in touch afterwards, if you parted ways? Or did you keep quiet, your silence your sort of tribute? What did you say? Anon comments, as always, are on. ♥
karanguni: (CLAIRE is amazed)
How tired art thee?
Let me count the ways -

Thou art more tired than a man
Who, in his wisdom,
Doth run in front of a car.

For thou art subject to
Such slings and arrows as
Insomnia, blasted telecommunication
Companies, the wart of public
Transportation and the
Essence of crabby
Middle-aged wives.

For you took the road less trodden
And hence discovered exactly why
Sometimes people don't give a shit.

But now comes bathtime,
And re-reading mail from abroad;
FORTH EORLINGAS CAFFEINE,
To BLOOD bath, to BATTLE bubbles
AND A RED DAWN And a cold-dripped cup of tea.



Don't ask; when extremely tired, K's brain sometimes fails to operate in prose.
karanguni: (BARACK chibi)
So, who's the crazy person who has decided to give as many people on the flist a present as she can? I AM! *BEAMS* In the spirit of the new year and attempting to kick my ass back into action. I've taken what prompts you guys have given me over the last however-many-times-I-decided-to-click-previous-entries, and have spun what I can. Happy new year! ♥ from this side of the universe.

[livejournal.com profile] dnatio_memoriae generously donated her art skillz for a couple of these, and may be contributing more in the morning! IS THE WORLD NOT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. OH YES, IT IS. ♥

numinicious - Lucifer (Lucifer, postcard) )

dnatio_memoriae: Baccano! (Luck, Claire, writing on the wall) )

white_jenna: Final Fantasy VII (Tseng, cocktail napkin) )

muse_lightning: nasdack FFVII AU (Tseng, Elena, post-its) )

knightlineninja: Cowboy Bebop (Spike, short letter) )

voksen: Baccano! (Czes, longhand letter) )

logistika_nyx: nasdack AU (Elena/Tseng: he's full of wishful thinking) )

misura: nasdack AU (Dark Nation, Rufus) )

If you feel you have been deprived a present, feel free to dump a prompt of any sort on me! After all, Chinese New Year (ha! coming from me, least traditional of people!) lasts a good long while, technically! :D Right now I am going to lean back in my seat and let my eyes explode for a while. ♥
karanguni: (BARACK chibi)
He's not my President, he's not a perfect man, but he has words and I, a human, listened:

We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.


This means so much to me as an individual, as a citizen, as a person on our shared earth and as everything else that I can't even say what it means anymore.
karanguni: (HOUSE kills)
Okay, right, so I wake up this morning after popping a couple of tabs of paracetamol last night, and mostly I just feel like I've been rolled over by a violently angry trucker. Repeatedly. I have to get on a plane in roughly one and a half days, so that's not looking too shiny. *rolls*

That said, might as well make someone else's day! :D [livejournal.com profile] paceus asked for a DVD commentary for Ho ho ho (Discworld). Here it is:

Things I do when low on sleep )

\o/ I am a pretty pathetic commentary writer for drabbles. *g* If anyone else wants one - for any fic, really - feel free to poke at!

Alternatively, if you feel like making a sick girl's day:
the fanficcers love meme, continued


[edit] While I'm in the meta mood, might as well do the 2008-fic-roundup thing that everyone else and their mother has probably done. 8D

The year in a couple of words )

(this goes out from under the cut, because people need the love:)

Things I love - again and again and again I have struck gold with the people I've met. It's insane - everyone seems to talk about fandom wank and such, but I've never encountered anything other than squee and constructive crit.

[livejournal.com profile] pere_chan: my most amazing Pere! I do not know if you are home to read this right now, but thank you so damned much. You went from being one of the first people that I felt comfortable squeeing with on AIM to being one of my closest friends outright. ♥ Your Batman art blows my mind away - your art in general blows my mind away - but not more than your generosity of spirit and optimisim.

[livejournal.com profile] dnatio_memoriae: I am so glad you came out of the woodwork! Thank you so much for the last couple of months; it has been one hell of a ride. *g* You're always around with something to say about Turkfic, for which I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL IN ALLCAPS, and I love love love the concrit you gave for Restorations. I love you art so much that I have this entire folder with nothing but your pieces. I look at it and it brings a warm glow to my stomach. TOGETHER WE WILL MUSH LUCIFER AND FINAL FANTASY VII AND BLIND THE WORLD. *g* *rolls*

[livejournal.com profile] logistika_nyx: you are the master, and I, merely the little slavegirl thing. *g* You have constantly been around to flail at and with, and to have endless comment threads when one/both of us are bored at school/work, and god knows you've made me a better, more thinky writer than I would've been otherwise. I hope you and the Boy are home and settled into House! :D I am blessed to have got to know you. And, you know, write copious amounts of (mind)porn with you.

[livejournal.com profile] kabuki_chan: I hope that you are alive! And that the world has not eaten you! ♥ Thank you so much for the co-squee and the amazing art over the past year. You are the bestest!

[livejournal.com profile] _ice_lady_: LET YOUR THESIS NOT EAT YOU, PLEASE. ♥ Thank you for being around and always having time to comment spam and grin and glee. ♥

[livejournal.com profile] maho_kiwi: kiwi! I am so glad to have got to know you and Laylah - the both of you are such landmarks of fandomy goodness, and the both of you work so hard that I feel kind of star-fishy and useless in comparison. You guys have been amazing generous with your time and yourselves, so ♥ ♥ ♥!

My nose is starting to clog up and object to a lack of medicine, and I'm running out of the braincells needed to do a proper thank-you list, but nonetheless:

[livejournal.com profile] white_jenna, [livejournal.com profile] puella_nerdii, [livejournal.com profile] aikonamika, [livejournal.com profile] guingel, [livejournal.com profile] mithrigil, [livejournal.com profile] shadowwaker -- and everyone else that my brain's not remembering: thank you so much for the past year. ♥

To all the new flisters, especially the Yuletides [livejournal.com profile] mjules, [livejournal.com profile] numinicious, [livejournal.com profile] elishabet, [livejournal.com profile] liviapenn, [livejournal.com profile] dhaunea, [livejournal.com profile] kangeiko, [livejournal.com profile] deepad, [livejournal.com profile] autumn_belias, okay here I really *am* running out of braincells - I love you guys for #yulechat, and I lookforward to mm.org, and the next yuletide, and all the OTHER CRAZY. Oh, and five million NYRs. ♥

K is home-

Dec. 19th, 2008 09:15 am
karanguni: (YULETIDE snowflake -)
AND PANICKING ABOUT YULETIDE AJLFJLKASFJLKASFjl. Guess which genius left her base fandom text IN ANOTHER COUNTRY? K's intelligence rivals that of small centipedes. \o

Christmas cards should be going out - I'm not sure when the US/UK ones will get there, guys, since I'm sending those by proxy and the proxy people have had some Seriously Bad Luck (TM). If you're in Aussieland or local-wise, you should be getting yours around or just after the Season! ♥

SO HOW IS EVERYONE. You are obliged to fill me back in!

:D? Help?

Nov. 12th, 2008 10:17 pm
karanguni: (DICK swings weird)
My penultimate exam is over, and my last one is almost a full fortnight away, and right now I am almost a free human being!

My first act as a free human being out of the silly compulsory education system? Raise funds. D: I wish I had space to get a job in between travelling, but it's a no-go on proper work until after January for me. But until that time - I pledged my younger cousins my old laptop, but the thing's really falling apart. I've got my own personal attachment to it, too, which really isn't helping -- but I really do want to get them a laptop.

So I'm damn well going to get them a laptop. I'm looking to whore myself out work to raise a small neat Singaporean-dollar sum by March next year, and was wondering if anybody would be interested in buying my ass cheap chipping in to my psychotic efforts? I do LJ layouts for both paid and basic accounts (my design journal being the sadly-neglected [livejournal.com profile] shifgrethor), and also small personal websites.

And if nobody needs webdesign stuff, I'm also looking to clear inventory for the sake of Ze Small Kids. I will ship to anywhere on earth for tiny fees. Really tiny fees. It's for a good cause! Help me make my baby cousins smile? :D?

Inventory clearing time! )

Please do pimp this post out if you think anyone you know would be interested! :D ♥
karanguni: (Default)
This is the most touching thing I've listened to in most of my life. And god, I love human hope and decency.



You are asked to stand not on a question of politics, on a question of religion, on a question of gay or straight; you are asked now to ask on a question of love. All you need is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don't have to help it. You don't have to applaud it. You don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out. Just don't extinguish it. Because while it may look like that love is between two people you don't know, you don't understand, maybe you don't want to know, that ember is the love you have for your fellow person. Because this is the only other world we have, the the other guy counts too.

... I wish it were in the hearts of all. So I be written in the book of love, I do not care about that book above. Erase my name or write it as you will. So I be written in the book of love.

Good night, and good luck.



I SWEAR I WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT POLITICS SOON.
karanguni: (LUCIFER morningstar)
Before I go off to get my ass handed to me again, I shall post. Oh, politics, I'm sorry for beating you up so much. I promise that I'll stop soon. Very soon. Probably.

The good:

- The New York Times writing about how newspapers in the city have been sold out since early this morning. ♥ History, you have been made.

The bad:

- Proposition 8 got passed in California, 52% for, and I've had so much heartbreak over gay rights that right now all I want to do is beat something in. With a fish. A big fish. Like a tuna. That's huge fish.

The pretty:

- From the Yuletide counters: Ursula K Le Guin - the Hainish Cycle (4,9). OH YEAH, BABY. GO, MY CHILDREN, GO FORTH AND PROPOGATE.

The ugly:

- The Kinkfest prompt that the elections ended up rolling over; will probably end up being a few days late OH GOD I AM SORRY asjflka.

The smile:

The Hainish Cycle victory made me remember one of the things about Le Guin's writing that moves my personal philosophy, and keeps me alive in moments in between euphoric victory and relatively crushing defeat. These are the words of a young king, self-exiled, to a plenipotentiary of a union of many worlds:

"The dream of the Ekumen, then, is to restore that truly ancient commonalty; to regather all the peoples of all the worlds at one hearth?"

Axt nodded, chewing bread-apple. "To weave some harmony among them, at least. Life loves to know itself, out to its furthest limits; to embrace complexity is its delight. Our difference is our beauty. All these worlds and the various forms and ways of the minds and lives and bodies on them - together they would make a splendid harmony."

"No harmony endures," said the young king.

"None has ever been achieved," said the Plenipotentiary. "The pleasure is in trying."


karanguni: (Default)
Why I care about Barack Obama, even though I'm not American. )

His words are best:


"... white or black, gay or straight ...

... those who are cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history to bend it once more."
karanguni: (HUGHES junshou)
Maybe it's because it's lull season for me right now - I'm in the midst of starting and finishing research papers and getting one set of results back before going into a new set of revision and examinations in late October and November - but I want to get all the crazy holiday stuff set down before the INSANE CRUNCH TIME of Yule and November frippery.

SO:

Christmas/Yule/Happy Non-denominational Random Celebration Day Card Sending List

If you want a postcard to find in your mailbox come December - no promises on the content ("8D 8D"), but I can give promises on the, uh, ontological existence of the card itself - leave your address/a address in the comments (screened!). This doesn't just apply for you - if you have a friend/loved one/family member/pet/relative/best friend/doctor/spouse/neighbour/teacher that you want to send some lovin' to, set that right down here as well!

Therefore leave:

- A Name/Identity/Thing I can address the card/thing to
- An address that a postman will deliver to
- If it's meant as a surprise for a friend, a note you may want me to stick in for you
- If it's meant as a surprise for you, a note about what you might want me to stick in for you (HINT: IF YOU ARE A JE FAN, there are a couple of magazines and things that I want to see in better, more interested homes!)

Your addresses are safe with me. *g* I realise that makes it sound totally washy, but YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME ON THAT.

Feel free to spread this 'cross LJ if you want - more people = more love, right? - or to spread a little ho-ho-ho yourself. In the middle of September. Because it's cool to be early. And stuff.
karanguni: (Bebop SMOKING)
So, apparently my brain still doesn't want to come out of its psychotic funk, and pounding away at textbooks is a known cure for life, not for depression. ERGO, LIVEJOURNAL.

Mmm, livejournal. I will trade any cool, kind and amazing soul who'll recommend me/link me to/give me two or three feel good songs to play whilst I chip away at the behemoth structure that is my life a ficlet of around four hundred or so words.

I'm looking for seriously brainless songs, here. Hit me with things that would make Bruce Wayne drive a car really fast down an expressway. Things that Tseng would burn onto a disc just to put through a papershredder*. Things that have a lot of people shouting incoherent, animalistic phrases like "OH YEAH" in the backgroud. I want so many beats per minute that I'll be able to use the song as a Weapon of Mass Vibration. I want so much bass that I can't hear the guitars. Or the vocals. Hip hop and Justin Timberlake and stuff you'd find on Iron Man or Hancock (move bitch, get out 'the way). Party songs. Songs in a language I do not/cannot understand and therefore cannot parse. Songs you secretly dance to while stripping. Or while putting clothes on, if that's your kink.

* though this proces is extremely inconvenient, inefficient, and costly in terms of ordinance

If you don't want to rec them to me with your LJ username attached, you can safely bring to light your Rihanna or Britney Spears collection by posting anonymously. 8D Or if you don't want anyone to know that you want evil!Bruce/tiny!Dick, or something.

Make this vaguely depressed writer happy, and give her songs that will make studying and life less painful while making her do something she truly a) enjoys and b) feels capable of. I don't care if you're on my flist - hell, invite people over if you think that they have a) good music or b) a dire need for fic.

If the fandom's obscure, just ask. :D

*tempts you*

*tempts you all*

*and makes pathetic noises at the same time*

<3

Aug. 25th, 2008 10:31 am
karanguni: (Default)
Everyone was incredibly awesome last night - thank you, all of you guys, for the nice words. Now to pay it back -- have an anonymous posting thing: post anything you'd like. Maybe you'd like to say something to me or anyone else, or if you want a fic request you could never have said aloud, or you just want to say something that you can't to anyone who knows who you are, or if you'd like a few nice words of your own, or maybe you just want to tell a story, or make a face. ♥ Anonymous commenting, go!

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

Post anonymously. Speak honestly. Post as many times as you like.
karanguni: (uh HAWKEYE)
Considering that I will be shoving the remainder of my philosophy syllabus down my own throat tomorrow in addition to the, um, Ambitious Fic Plan.

So, the to-do list for the new morning:

- Lots of studying
- Triple Bill consisting of

a) writing three fics
b) posting three fics
c) straddling three fandoms.

Mmm, I love how ideas come at the worst of times, and during examination season, to boot.

Triple Bill #1: Batman

Will hopefully break the four thousand word barrier and not leave me dead; continuation of the current arc, with huge smack-in-face guest appearances and a lot of Terry being Terry being Terry.

Triple Bill #2: Final Fantasy VII

Because just when you think you can't write for it without inspiration, inspiration hits: more Tseng fic, this time with creepy scientists and a lot of Creepy Tseng. Kind of. Sort of.

Triple Bill #3: Baccano!

Sending myself right back to hell with this one; playing with Claire and... stuff.

Feel free to scream at me a lot tell me which one ought to come first; mostly I just want to do something during my break hours that don't involve plucking my eyeballs out and/or major depression.


I wish I were not a student; then I could write fic all day and also earn some income, if only to augment my stupid and petty desire to buy more icon space.

I am shallow, like a frozen-over Pacific Ocean.

[edit] And then, sneakily browsing the flist, I discover pointless feel-good memes, which are good for everyone who chooses to play! \o\ I'll do you if you do me mmm mindless punning at one in the morning.

Snaps Cup Meme

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A universe of unmapped grief and love
And new master light is beyond
The pleiades and plow and southern stars.

O soaring
Icarus of outworld, burn bright
The traceries of known skymarks,
Slide the highway planets behind
Your clear waxed wings.

Go conquer the everywhere left
Beyond your sad confinement
In a predicted bonehouse,
Witch thrown riddle of flesh
And water.

O soar until nothing
remains but great glittering holes
In the black godspun shirt over your head.

- John Fairfax