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This Year 365 songs: February 26th
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js_thrill Today's song is Heights
This isn't as discordant as Blood Royal was, but there is something that feels intentionally jarring about some of the music here. I don't dislike the song, but it took a bit to get accustomed to that element of it. Darnielle's annotations are entirely about his curiosity about the narrator, which is a return to a theme that I've noted many previous times in my notes. It's not just about the elliptical nature of his storytelling, but about the way in which these partial stories are presented as things he is merely glimpsing through a telescope or uncovering. There are determinate answers to all our questions about the narrator. There is a complete story there, and yet somehow, Darnielle only has fragmentary access to it.
In some ways, it is easier for me to get my mind around the less appealing—and more dismissive—Mamet view of fiction, as propounded in an SF Gate interview:
So, like, for Mamet, there are no answers that aren't on the page, but that's because all there is is words on the page. And I can get my head around that view, but I don't like that view. For Darnielle, the words on the page are all we know about the characters and the story, but somehow those words succeeded at singling out a fully defined and realized character and world, that has (unknowable) answers to all the questions we might ask. Which is a more appealing view of what happens, but also a much more perplexing one.
This isn't as discordant as Blood Royal was, but there is something that feels intentionally jarring about some of the music here. I don't dislike the song, but it took a bit to get accustomed to that element of it. Darnielle's annotations are entirely about his curiosity about the narrator, which is a return to a theme that I've noted many previous times in my notes. It's not just about the elliptical nature of his storytelling, but about the way in which these partial stories are presented as things he is merely glimpsing through a telescope or uncovering. There are determinate answers to all our questions about the narrator. There is a complete story there, and yet somehow, Darnielle only has fragmentary access to it.
In some ways, it is easier for me to get my mind around the less appealing—and more dismissive—Mamet view of fiction, as propounded in an SF Gate interview:
M.L.: There's a scene in "Oleanna" in which the woman says "I never told anybody this" — and then gets interrupted by the phone ringing. What was she about to say?
MAMET: Aha! Well, we don't know, do we?
M.L.: Well, / don't know. You don't either?
MAMET: No.
M.L.: I thought, in my naive way, that you're supposed to know as you're writing the line —
MAMET: Nope. (Laughing) We never got that far. We in the audience have to believe that she's about to make an extraordinary confession. What that confession is we don't get to find out.
M.L.: But you don't know —
MAMET: The woman doesn't actually exist, Mick. She's a bunch of black scribbles on a blank page.
M.L.: But when you're thinking about it as you're writing the play you're not really thinking about scribbles on a blank page. You are thinking of some kind of person, I would think.
MAMET: No. Black scribbles on a white page, that's all it is.
So, like, for Mamet, there are no answers that aren't on the page, but that's because all there is is words on the page. And I can get my head around that view, but I don't like that view. For Darnielle, the words on the page are all we know about the characters and the story, but somehow those words succeeded at singling out a fully defined and realized character and world, that has (unknowable) answers to all the questions we might ask. Which is a more appealing view of what happens, but also a much more perplexing one.
Duck update
Feb. 25th, 2026 11:01 pmluzulaOur flock of twelve ducks now number thirteen and occasionally fourteen. Duck #13 is the neighbours' sole surviving duck after the others were taken by a fox (probably). He was keeping them outside. Ours are in a polytunnel inside an enclosure, but I think a determined fox could still get inside. Augh, I hope they survive the winter. Duck #13 is white and looks a lot like our Elsa, but smaller and with a more orange beak; we call her Lill-Elsa (Little Elsa). She has seamlessly merged with the flock.
The occasional #14 is a female wild mallard who seems to be considering the advantages of domestication: free food, water, and shelter! But she comes and goes. One might think our ducks would correspondingly be hearing the call of the wild from her, but no. They like their comforts now. The snow is thawing and I thought I'd make them happy by breaking up the ice in the small pond for them, but when I herded them outside to see it, they just stood there and looked at me like I was committing animal abuse, and hurried back to the polytunnel as soon as I got out of the way. Sigh.
As for me, I am too busy and am looking forward to things calming down a little soon. At least I hope they will.
The occasional #14 is a female wild mallard who seems to be considering the advantages of domestication: free food, water, and shelter! But she comes and goes. One might think our ducks would correspondingly be hearing the call of the wild from her, but no. They like their comforts now. The snow is thawing and I thought I'd make them happy by breaking up the ice in the small pond for them, but when I herded them outside to see it, they just stood there and looked at me like I was committing animal abuse, and hurried back to the polytunnel as soon as I got out of the way. Sigh.
As for me, I am too busy and am looking forward to things calming down a little soon. At least I hope they will.
This Year 365 songs: February 18th-25th
Feb. 25th, 2026 01:00 pmjs_thrill- February 18th: The Only Thing I Know
- February 19th: Duke Ellington
- February 20th: Against Agamemnon
- February 21st: Full Flower
- February 22nd: Orange Ball of Pain
- February 23rd: Blood Royal
- February 24th: Going to Scotland
Orange Ball of Pain is fine, especially compared to Blood Royal, which is doing discordant things that are really not working for me. Going to Scotland feels too cutesy, I think, but it may just be that I am trying to catch up on 8 songs at one go. If I had done this song by itself, I'd probably have liked it just fine.
February 25th: Going to Reykjavik
Okay, this is a song I genuinely am enjoying. Serendipity that it is the last song, and it sort of confirms my judgment that Going to Scotland was too cutesy. I still probably would have liked it better if it was on its own. But this song is landing very well, even as the eighth song of the day.
I am glad I am not a music reviewer. Sometimes I have the thought that I like reading books, wouldn't it be great to get paid to read books, but then I think about what that job would actually be and I realize I am very lucky that I am not a professional book reviewer or slush reader or anything like that.
Musical theatre about not being right in the head
Feb. 25th, 2026 11:34 ampetraA friend was talking about dissociation in show tunes, so I got my Anthony Warlow on this morning -- Jekyll & Hyde - Confrontation, in which he sings a duet with himself as Jekyll vs. Hyde, and City of Angels - You're Nothing Without Me in which a hack writer sings a duet of loathing with his noir protagonist.
Next up, The Nausea Before The Game / Love Me For What I Am from In Trousers, the former of which does a bang-up job with "Oh, I am supposed to be having sex with the person. Um. Sure. I can. Do that! It sounds like. An. Idea. A GOOD idea, I mean. As opposed to... not my thing."
And if you need to know whether Imelda Staunton can sing, the answer is Fuck Yeah. National Theatre's Follies, "Losing My Mind," a song of obsessive love with a moment of complete executive dysfunction.
*
I am not up-to-date on the great project of making musical theatre about anything. Do you have a favorite show tune about dissociation?
Next up, The Nausea Before The Game / Love Me For What I Am from In Trousers, the former of which does a bang-up job with "Oh, I am supposed to be having sex with the person. Um. Sure. I can. Do that! It sounds like. An. Idea. A GOOD idea, I mean. As opposed to... not my thing."
And if you need to know whether Imelda Staunton can sing, the answer is Fuck Yeah. National Theatre's Follies, "Losing My Mind," a song of obsessive love with a moment of complete executive dysfunction.
*
I am not up-to-date on the great project of making musical theatre about anything. Do you have a favorite show tune about dissociation?
why did I buy those blue pajamas
Feb. 25th, 2026 03:34 pmpensnestI just spotted a recipe for something that I scribbled down on a notepad next to my computer.
Cup warm water
spoonful sugar
spoonful baking soda
spoonful vinegar
Cover and leave for two days.
Which is fine as far as it goes, only... what is it? What does it do?
Anyone?
Cup warm water
spoonful sugar
spoonful baking soda
spoonful vinegar
Cover and leave for two days.
Which is fine as far as it goes, only... what is it? What does it do?
Anyone?
Dear High Adrenaline author
Feb. 24th, 2026 10:00 pmbeatrice_otterI use the same name everywhere so I am beatrice_otter on AO3. Treats are awesome.
I would rather get a story you were happy with than "well, she said she liked x, so I guess I have to do x even though I don't like x and/or am not inspired that way." This letter is long with lots of suggestions and preferences if you find it helpful, but feel free to ignore it if it is not helpful. I'm fairly easy to please; I've been doing ficathons for a long time and am usually very happy with my gifts.
The most important thing for me in a fic is that the characters are well-written and recognizably themselves. Even when I don't like a character, I don't go in for character-bashing. If nothing else, if the rest of this letter is too much or my kinks don't fit yours, just concentrate on writing a story with everyone in character and good spelling and grammar and I will almost certainly love what you come up with.
I have an embarrassment squick, which makes humor kind of hit-or-miss sometimes. The kind of humor where someone does something embarrassing and the audience is laughing at them makes me uncomfortable. On the other hand, the kind of humor where the audience is laughing with the characters I really enjoy.
( General Likes and Dislikes )
( The Swan )
( Random Harvest )
( Hobson's Choice )
( Guess Who's Coming to Dinner )
( Voyager )
( Crossovers )
( DS9 )
( Star Wars OT )
( Fandom for Robots )
( Babylon 5 )
beatrice_otter on AO3. Treats are awesome.I would rather get a story you were happy with than "well, she said she liked x, so I guess I have to do x even though I don't like x and/or am not inspired that way." This letter is long with lots of suggestions and preferences if you find it helpful, but feel free to ignore it if it is not helpful. I'm fairly easy to please; I've been doing ficathons for a long time and am usually very happy with my gifts.
The most important thing for me in a fic is that the characters are well-written and recognizably themselves. Even when I don't like a character, I don't go in for character-bashing. If nothing else, if the rest of this letter is too much or my kinks don't fit yours, just concentrate on writing a story with everyone in character and good spelling and grammar and I will almost certainly love what you come up with.
I have an embarrassment squick, which makes humor kind of hit-or-miss sometimes. The kind of humor where someone does something embarrassing and the audience is laughing at them makes me uncomfortable. On the other hand, the kind of humor where the audience is laughing with the characters I really enjoy.
( General Likes and Dislikes )
( The Swan )
( Random Harvest )
( Hobson's Choice )
( Guess Who's Coming to Dinner )
( Voyager )
( Crossovers )
( DS9 )
( Star Wars OT )
( Fandom for Robots )
( Babylon 5 )
Gaming Update
Feb. 25th, 2026 02:58 pmcyphomandraI finished Burning Shores! I loved the LA archipelago and the new machines and I like Seyka a lot. I didn’t find Londra, the antagonist in this, as effective or as intriguing as Tilda, and gosh I really miss Sylens (isis - thanks for the pointer to the in-game shrine to him! It’s lovely). I may at some point go back and do a hard mode play through of HFW, because I do like the gameplay, but I think I’ll give it a break for now.
I went looking for new puzzle games and ended up playing through Is This Seat Taken?, a cheerful indie game in which you have to put anthropomorphic shapes in the exact places that satisfy their increasingly finicky requests (no noise, in direct sunlight, standing on the left but not adjacent to anyone who hasn’t showered, able to steal popcorn from a neighbour etc) in a series of city-based challenges. I like the aesthetic and I like the gameplay. The (thin) storyline, in which Nate the rhombus wants to be a movie star, could have been better, and I would have also liked more female major characters, but it was fun.
Then I started The Room 3 - the latest in a horror puzzle game series with intricate mechanics and foreboding settings, and I’ve previously played the first two. But those were on my iPad and although I’m enjoying it, my phone screen really is too small, so I am now dithering between pressing on regardless or replaying a good 2/3rds of the game on an iPad. Hmm. So instead I started TR-49, where you are searching through a WWII-era machine containing pieces of various writings, in search of an ultimate secret for as yet unspecified reasons; it’s intriguing and I need more time with it.
However. On the PS5 I have returned to FFVII Rebirth, and finally completed chapter 12 on hard mode after being stuck there for months. Fighting Corneo’s assorted brawlers was fine, and Rude & Elena weren’t too bad once I got used to their attacks, but then you go straight into a solo Cloud battle with Rufus, who is ridiculously fast, and also I was only at half health from all the preceding battles and could not face going back and doing them all over. Lots of dodging, lots of very precise timing required to hit back at all, and lots of staring contemplatively at the Game Over screen, but eventually I did it. I went on to chapter 13 but very rapidly this hits a no turn back point, so before that I have been attempting to complete all of FFVII Rebirth’s many, many mini games, in order to get the Johnnie’s Treasure Trove achievement. This requires 88 (!) mini-achievements. I have now won all the chocobo races at the Gold Saucer, done all the Fort Condor and Gears & Gambits hard mode tower defence games, shot targets in Costa Del Sol, sent Yuffie & Aerith out to clean up cactuars in Corel, etc, etc, etc, and currently I have managed to claw my way to 74.
It is definitely a journey. I prefer the mini games where they’re thematic (sure, the Glide de Chocobo rank III award was a navigational nightmare that nearly gave me tendonitis but you’re riding a chocobo!) or the gameplay ties back to the main game - getting Aerith through Cactuar Crush hard mode required me to upskill dramatically in using her Tempest attack, something I’d previously overlooked. In contrast, I dislike tower defence even when the polygons are cute and shooting targets is not my thing at all, but I am a) stubborn and b) capable of watching a YouTube video and managing to follow at least some of it after multiple attempts.
I have got one more mini game to get through that’s not at the Gold Saucer - it’s the hard mode frog challenge in Junon, in which your party is transformed into frogs (a common occurrence in FF games) and you have to stay on a series of moving platforms for as long as possible - and then I will be back at the Saucer, which has more Queen's Blood challenges, another terrible shooting game I suck at, and the sole remaining side quest, Can’t Stop Won’t Stop, which requires me to beat the Shinra Middle Manager and all my own previous high scores on six minigames. Yay. And even if I get through all of those, plus Chadley’s Legendary Challenges, I still have to manage to play piano on the PS5 controller well enough to get an A grade on Two Legs D:
(FFVII Remake is now out on the Switch 2, and Rebirth will be out June. Released with these are patch updates that enable God Mode, which would make it much easier to get any of the fighting trophies - I’m not sure if they will affect the mini games. I don’t have a problem with this mode being available but I would like, if possible, to get the platinum before that).
isis - thanks for the pointer to the in-game shrine to him! It’s lovely). I may at some point go back and do a hard mode play through of HFW, because I do like the gameplay, but I think I’ll give it a break for now.I went looking for new puzzle games and ended up playing through Is This Seat Taken?, a cheerful indie game in which you have to put anthropomorphic shapes in the exact places that satisfy their increasingly finicky requests (no noise, in direct sunlight, standing on the left but not adjacent to anyone who hasn’t showered, able to steal popcorn from a neighbour etc) in a series of city-based challenges. I like the aesthetic and I like the gameplay. The (thin) storyline, in which Nate the rhombus wants to be a movie star, could have been better, and I would have also liked more female major characters, but it was fun.
Then I started The Room 3 - the latest in a horror puzzle game series with intricate mechanics and foreboding settings, and I’ve previously played the first two. But those were on my iPad and although I’m enjoying it, my phone screen really is too small, so I am now dithering between pressing on regardless or replaying a good 2/3rds of the game on an iPad. Hmm. So instead I started TR-49, where you are searching through a WWII-era machine containing pieces of various writings, in search of an ultimate secret for as yet unspecified reasons; it’s intriguing and I need more time with it.
However. On the PS5 I have returned to FFVII Rebirth, and finally completed chapter 12 on hard mode after being stuck there for months. Fighting Corneo’s assorted brawlers was fine, and Rude & Elena weren’t too bad once I got used to their attacks, but then you go straight into a solo Cloud battle with Rufus, who is ridiculously fast, and also I was only at half health from all the preceding battles and could not face going back and doing them all over. Lots of dodging, lots of very precise timing required to hit back at all, and lots of staring contemplatively at the Game Over screen, but eventually I did it. I went on to chapter 13 but very rapidly this hits a no turn back point, so before that I have been attempting to complete all of FFVII Rebirth’s many, many mini games, in order to get the Johnnie’s Treasure Trove achievement. This requires 88 (!) mini-achievements. I have now won all the chocobo races at the Gold Saucer, done all the Fort Condor and Gears & Gambits hard mode tower defence games, shot targets in Costa Del Sol, sent Yuffie & Aerith out to clean up cactuars in Corel, etc, etc, etc, and currently I have managed to claw my way to 74.
It is definitely a journey. I prefer the mini games where they’re thematic (sure, the Glide de Chocobo rank III award was a navigational nightmare that nearly gave me tendonitis but you’re riding a chocobo!) or the gameplay ties back to the main game - getting Aerith through Cactuar Crush hard mode required me to upskill dramatically in using her Tempest attack, something I’d previously overlooked. In contrast, I dislike tower defence even when the polygons are cute and shooting targets is not my thing at all, but I am a) stubborn and b) capable of watching a YouTube video and managing to follow at least some of it after multiple attempts.
I have got one more mini game to get through that’s not at the Gold Saucer - it’s the hard mode frog challenge in Junon, in which your party is transformed into frogs (a common occurrence in FF games) and you have to stay on a series of moving platforms for as long as possible - and then I will be back at the Saucer, which has more Queen's Blood challenges, another terrible shooting game I suck at, and the sole remaining side quest, Can’t Stop Won’t Stop, which requires me to beat the Shinra Middle Manager and all my own previous high scores on six minigames. Yay. And even if I get through all of those, plus Chadley’s Legendary Challenges, I still have to manage to play piano on the PS5 controller well enough to get an A grade on Two Legs D:
(FFVII Remake is now out on the Switch 2, and Rebirth will be out June. Released with these are patch updates that enable God Mode, which would make it much easier to get any of the fighting trophies - I’m not sure if they will affect the mini games. I don’t have a problem with this mode being available but I would like, if possible, to get the platinum before that).
Sunward by William Alexander
Feb. 24th, 2026 08:03 pmlightreadsSunward
4/5. Slim scifi novel about a woman from the moon running currier jobs, while on the side she raises up baby Ais, who require care like extraordinarily precocious children.
I’m hard to charm so far this year, but this book managed it. It’s sweet in the right places, thorny in others, and does a fun/interesting tour of parts of this futuristic solar system. This pleased and distracted me during a difficult week with its space parrot and road trip.
I will say that it has odd pacing, which suddenly clicked into place for me when I looked up the author and discovered he’s previously written middle grade. Ding ding ding. This is a novel concerning mostly adult topics, but paced like middle grade. It may be less jarring if you go in knowing that.
Content notes: Violence, robots treated like property while obviously being people (not by the protagonist)
4/5. Slim scifi novel about a woman from the moon running currier jobs, while on the side she raises up baby Ais, who require care like extraordinarily precocious children.
I’m hard to charm so far this year, but this book managed it. It’s sweet in the right places, thorny in others, and does a fun/interesting tour of parts of this futuristic solar system. This pleased and distracted me during a difficult week with its space parrot and road trip.
I will say that it has odd pacing, which suddenly clicked into place for me when I looked up the author and discovered he’s previously written middle grade. Ding ding ding. This is a novel concerning mostly adult topics, but paced like middle grade. It may be less jarring if you go in knowing that.
Content notes: Violence, robots treated like property while obviously being people (not by the protagonist)
this has nothing to do with anything but it could be antarctica vagueblogging, I guess
Feb. 24th, 2026 06:40 pmprimeidealAgain, not really saying anything new here, just trying to articulate part of the problem that makes lots of sense in my head but maybe isn't obvious to everyone else...
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
My Tea Habit Is a Medical Expense & other stories
Feb. 24th, 2026 08:16 pmextrapenguinToday I came across this factsheet on autism comorbidities (sleep issues, hypermobility, cardiovascular, immunology/MCAS, gastrointestinal, long COVID, chronic pain, reproductive, jaw/dental stuff), and a) I really need to get back into the melatonin game for my sleep issues, and b) it turns out that L-theanine ("caffeine of tea") is an analog of glutamate, and can thus be metabolized into GABA, which autistic brains generally have less of. So my tea habit is a medical expense!
(WRT the autism comorbidities mentioned, I def have the sleep issues, bruxism, a food allergy, and I guess some non-hEDS hypermobility? I bruise moderately easily, but my floppy joints are my shoulders, I've never dislocated anything due to good muscle tone, and my fingers and wrists are turbo normal, leading to me never getting over the threshold score in any assessments lol.)
Also I have good news WRT VidUKon: I can't be there in person, but my in-person commitment was altered to be only the Saturday, so I can watch the Sunday programming in peace! This year's themed vidshow is Unfinished Business, with vids for sources that e.g. were cancelled before their time, had a rushed ending, etc. So now I'm trying to think about canons that fit. My little lesbian shampoo commercials etc, short though they may be, don't count imo, as they all tell nice self-contained stories. The Star Wars Sequels, maybe, for Finn, but idek. Does anyone have any canon recs? I am willing to invest max 10h in your science fiction or wuxia that was cancelled (possibly mid-airing) or which has an unsatisfying ending.
For regular premieres, I currently have two finished vids. One is Star Wars Sequels (for my vid album); the other is for the Firebird ballet. I think I'll take a look at the full program and then decide which one I want to be my VidUKon premiere.
(WRT the autism comorbidities mentioned, I def have the sleep issues, bruxism, a food allergy, and I guess some non-hEDS hypermobility? I bruise moderately easily, but my floppy joints are my shoulders, I've never dislocated anything due to good muscle tone, and my fingers and wrists are turbo normal, leading to me never getting over the threshold score in any assessments lol.)
Also I have good news WRT VidUKon: I can't be there in person, but my in-person commitment was altered to be only the Saturday, so I can watch the Sunday programming in peace! This year's themed vidshow is Unfinished Business, with vids for sources that e.g. were cancelled before their time, had a rushed ending, etc. So now I'm trying to think about canons that fit. My little lesbian shampoo commercials etc, short though they may be, don't count imo, as they all tell nice self-contained stories. The Star Wars Sequels, maybe, for Finn, but idek. Does anyone have any canon recs? I am willing to invest max 10h in your science fiction or wuxia that was cancelled (possibly mid-airing) or which has an unsatisfying ending.
For regular premieres, I currently have two finished vids. One is Star Wars Sequels (for my vid album); the other is for the Firebird ballet. I think I'll take a look at the full program and then decide which one I want to be my VidUKon premiere.
when your head's down over your pieces
Feb. 24th, 2026 04:38 pmpensnestWe've just finished watching Queen's Gambit, the show about Elizabeth Harmon (of whom I know nothing). It was remarkable how exciting the show managed to make chess. Chess! I mean, I kept hoping desperately that someone would help her get out of the trough she was in (Jolene!), but the chess tournaments were amazingly gripping, considering I barely know how to play.
Also, it had Thomas Brodie-Sangster in it, and I love watching him. It was a surprise when he cropped up—we'd watched season two of Dodger just beforehand, in which he has the leading role. I like him so much as an actor, but am bewildered that he continues to look about seventeen. I know he was in a Doctor Who double episode, but I feel sure I saw him as a heroic and capable RN midshipman in something... I cannot find it. Anyone? Am I thinking of a completely different actor?
Anyway. I now wish for somebody to make Twelfth Night with Thomas Brodie Sangster and Anya Taylor Joy as Sebastian and Viola. A little matching of the complexions, a suitably paired set of wigs, and voila!
Also, it had Thomas Brodie-Sangster in it, and I love watching him. It was a surprise when he cropped up—we'd watched season two of Dodger just beforehand, in which he has the leading role. I like him so much as an actor, but am bewildered that he continues to look about seventeen. I know he was in a Doctor Who double episode, but I feel sure I saw him as a heroic and capable RN midshipman in something... I cannot find it. Anyone? Am I thinking of a completely different actor?
Anyway. I now wish for somebody to make Twelfth Night with Thomas Brodie Sangster and Anya Taylor Joy as Sebastian and Viola. A little matching of the complexions, a suitably paired set of wigs, and voila!
reading in 2025
Feb. 24th, 2026 11:36 pmlacewoodIn the spirit of Lunar New Year, it's time to tidy up 2025 with the annual reading list.
( words read, and some thoughts )
And to finish off, every year, I hope that things get better for the world and unfortunately, for the last few years, they have not. The chaos (horrors) persists. But so does the world. And maybe that's the best we can hope for, in the end.
( words read, and some thoughts )
And to finish off, every year, I hope that things get better for the world and unfortunately, for the last few years, they have not. The chaos (horrors) persists. But so does the world. And maybe that's the best we can hope for, in the end.