Oh good lord save me from my drug-induced dreams

[karanguni]

IT'S ANOTHER ONE. I cannot believe that I now have a tag for strange politifigure dreams. I swear that rahmbamarama comes to me in my sleep and haunts me, because this time, guys, it was even weirder than the original.



So I'm in a car with someone I know - might be family, I have no idea - and we're driving happily down some anonymous highway. We see a car that's broken down, so we stop to help out since it's dark out and no one likes to be stuck on the road alone like that. Turns out we're not the only ones who've stopped - Anderson Cooper is there??? Typing on his Blackberry and making all sorts of lame jokes. We start talking to each other because, for no logical reason at all, he gets that I get that he's gay (??!!). Very soon he is giggling, and we exchange telephone numbers what.

This starts a string of fun "eeee outings with Anderpony", during which time he is as ridiculously chirpy as he seems to appear when not talking politics with Wolf Blitzer, and we sit around a lot and Anderson's Blackberry is missing a lot of the time. I do not know why, since I'd have thought that even my subconscious knows how important that piece of technology really is.

Then there's a break; nil communication and all, which leaves me worried. Something tells me he's found my LJ (?!??!?!!!!), and so I try to contact him to, I don't know, say something, but alas! Dreamworld has more important drama planned than this!

Through a combination of what must have been the meds I am taking for the flu and the sheer fandom influence of rahmbamarama, before any Social Repair Work can be done, Anderpony, a few friends of mine, some random refugee-types and I land up captured and stranded in a desert. As we sleep in a conclave, one refugee-type little girl adorably asks for a storybook reading.

'But we can't,' I tell her, trying to shield our oil lamp.

'Why?' she asks me.

'They can see the light,' I say, pointing a few miles out to a cliff. On the top of said cliff is an enclave, and we can see shadows moving beyond a large fire.

Turns out that those people are cannibals or something I DON'T KNOW we just know that, if they see us, they will HUNT US DOWN AND KILL US, but no, refugee girl WANTS HER BOOK READ so I let her keep the lamp light on, and then when she - and the rest of the camp - is asleep, I look up and the cannibals are coming.

That is one phrase I never thought I'd write in my LJ, but there you go --

THE CANNIBALS CAME, so I shook Anderson awake DESPERATELY, and true to Anderpony logic, we yank the refugees and friends of ours away from the little sandy enclave and then run for our lives. In separate directions.

I end up naked (??!?!!), sneaking through a tribal village that locks its doors against any outsiders. I creep around with ninja skills until I bump into my friends again. I think some are dead. Anderpony is alive. There is some sort of reconciliation.

Then I wake up.


What the hell? is the phrase I have repeated to myself the most this last half an hour of waking. What the hell?

I'm not even sure I can turn this particular mad dream into fic this time.

Oh God/charlie_d_blue/evercourant/two_if_by_sea/regicidaldwarf, SAVE ME FROM MYSELF

Comments

[charlie-d-blue.livejournal.com]

AHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA.

*breathes* Okay, I'm good now-



No, really, just-

HEE.

No words. None at all.

THE CANNIBALS ARE COMING!


*still giggling*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

You have no idea how scarred I am that my own head can do this to me anfnfnafsh I MUST HAVE BEEN BECAUSE ANDERPONY WAS ON ELLEN WHEN I WAS IN THE WAITING ROOM AT THE CLINIC.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

It's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY NOW to help me turn this shit into rahmbamarama-worthy crack so that I CAN FURTHER INFLICT THIS MADNESS ON THE LARGER POPULATION.

[charlie-d-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think we're well past the benchmark of RBR crack and into some other realm that I didn't even know could possibly exist.

Anderson Cooper, newsman extraordinaire, was stranded on a desert island! With nothing but his bitten fingernails and trustworthy Blackberry he must evade the cannibals!

But seriously? I would read fic about pundits stranded á la Lost, being snarky and accidentally competent while being hunted down by cannibals. And Rahm just shakes his head in disgust and finishes setting up the camouflaged six-foot deep pit with sharpened spikes at the bottom.

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

Oh, it was a full-fledge desert, not even an island.

BUT NOW I HAVE TO FLEE TO GET SMOKED UP ON CHEMICALS IN A DARKROOM. I shall ponder the mysteries of this crack, and how to turn it into philosophy. *beardstroke*

[charlie-d-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh, it was a full-fledge desert, not even an island.

...

See icon.

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

*fledged. Even my grammar fails. D:

[regicidaldwarf.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA~~

The dreams our brains come up with while sick are the most delicious kind of crack imaginable. xD

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

MY OWN BRAIN SCARES ME

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

BUT WHY WERE YOU NAKED?

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

ANDERSON COOPER WAS WITHIN FIFTY FEET OF ME.

I DO NOT THINK FURTHER EXPLANATION IS NECESSARY, MAN.

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

a;dfj; BUT THE IDEA OF STRIPPING IN FRONT OF ANDERSON

IT'S LIKE MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH WHILE YOUR PUPPY WATCHES YOU

*spins the idea*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

No, no, no, it's all metaphorical, y'see - discounting my appearance in the dream, which I will account for as being necessary for narration, Andy's out in the desert because it is barren and stripped of civilisation: a symbol of his personal life, which needs to be kept squeaky clean so that he can go on CNN and not be ridiculed or used as an object for rights activitists and/or nay-sayers.

The cannibals are his critics: the anthromorphised form of, say, Keith Olbermann, who does not really hate Andy, simply is jealous of his fame, his looks, and the way he gets away with everything via Awards and Commendations instead of accusations of Speaking Too Much, Too Soon as he (and many other critics) seem to. He wants to be Anderson Cooper Three Sixty - who doesn't - and so he is a cannibal.

But the nakedness, ah, that is the aim, the endpoint. Note that it only appears when one is running from said cannibals, i.e one is in a dangerous situation. Parallel with Cooper's urge to go to crazy dangerous places - that way, he can be who he is, as when you are running from bombs everything else is equal, and he has nothing to hide about himself then.

*BEAMS* OKAY?

Re: *spins the idea*

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

.......

okay, I'll buy it. YOU'RE STILL NUTS. But I'll bite.

Re: *spins the idea*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

*beams and twirls* Now to write that into a fic.

THOUGH I CANNOT BEAT ROBOT ANDERSON.

Re: *spins the idea*

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

CANNIBALS which I cannot say without shuddering anymore because I just watched a whole documentary about snuff films and ugh ugh cannibal holocaust ugh ugh ugh why did i start talking about this ugh i'm going to die.

OHMYGOD so the other day I was listening to someone talk about this experiment where they took an out of the box Linux PC and connected it to the internet and within 12 hours it was completely compromised? And my brain just went crazy and I had so many android Andy stories running around afterward. I AM INCORRIGIBLE.

Re: *spins the idea*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

CANNIBALS are scary let me hold my hand over your eyes THERE YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT THEM ANY MORE.

The internets is big and wide and full of scary people; beware, little Andy Androids, if Rahmling wants to keep you safe he will need an anti-virus programme and a big-ass fucking stick. :D Also, Android Stories are totally go, it cannot be more incorrigible than what my fellow writers are doing, extending tentacle porn zomg.

Re: *spins the idea*

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

I STILL SEE THEM. IN MY HEAD. THE HAND, IT DOES NOTHING . ;_;

Too bad Rahmling is going to have shut down little Andyroid. ;_; SO SAD, little Andyroid will never see a caterpillar turn into a butterfly or understand birthday cake or ride a pony.

TENTACLE PORN = ACE.

Re: *spins the idea*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

*snorfle* Alternatively, read-Andy could be so touched by Rahm's weirdass attempts at keeping him alive that he tries to keep Andyroid going. Can we say, totally trying to make up for the bigger brother he could not save? oh, yes we can! And then Rahm's mind is a gutter or something.

Re: *spins the idea*

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

SEXBOTS, YES.

BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ANDY SANDWICH, DOUBLE YES.

anderson would never agree but A MAN CAN FANTASIZE.

Re: *spins the idea*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

IT'S NOT A SEXBOT, IT'S ANDY'S LITTLE BROTHER, DAMN IT, WHOM HE WILL PROTECT FROM THE WORLD AND HIMSELF.

Re: *spins the idea*

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

YEAH NO

I THINK RAHM WOULD LIKE A WHOLE HAREM OF ANDYS

WHO WOULD STAY IN THE COUNTRY AND NOT GO TRAIPSING AROUND THE WORLD AND GETTING INTO HOSTAGE SITUATIONS

AND ANDERSON IS LIKE BUT THAT WOULD NOT BE ACCURATE TO MY PERSONALITY :((((

Re: *spins the idea*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

AND THEN RAHM CAN BEAM AND GO, OKAY, SO, HOW ABOUT A HAREM FULL OF ANDYS WHO WILL GO TRAIPSING AROUND THE WORLD GETTING INTO HOSTAGE SITUATIONS, meanwhile Anderson can totally stay in and drink tea and eat biscuits and kick administrative ass with Rahm.

Re: *spins the idea*

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

And make out in the butterfly garden, which is totally Rahm's END GOAL.

Barack is like ohmygod both of you stop flirting and go write me some grant proposals.

Re: *spins the idea*

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

Oh Andy. ♥ Don't you say that Rahm doesn't do anything for you.

[evercourant.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE BEYOND ALL HELP AND REDEMPTION

[karanguni.livejournal.com]

SOMEBODY SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE ME