Streets are filled with --

From the NYT:

Madoff Sentenced to 150 Years in Prison

Bernard L. Madoff on Monday received the maximum sentence for perpetrating one of the biggest investment frauds in Wall Street history and will spend the rest of his life in prison.

NOT A TYPO. 8D 8D Some things in RL are better than things in fic. nasdack, heeeeeeeere I come. >:D

[edit] BECAUSE I AM RIDICULOUS AND EASILY EXCITABLE BY FINANCIO-POLITICAL NEWS, I AM OPENING THE FLOOR FOR PROMPTS IN ANY FANDOM so long as they include FINANCIAL/POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS. Extra points for great hilarity. GO!!!!!!

Skype conversation with D thus ends, at 235am/435am, as such:

D: How do I end this -- oh, the red button!

Okay, back to work.

MY DREAMSCAPE IS FANFICTION LAND, I swear. Okay, let's recap some basic facts about my life here:

1. I'm not American
   
2. I've been away from serious rahmbamarama stuff for a good long time

SO, BRAIN, DO TELL ME WHY I dreamt last night that - no lie - of the following:

The year is some-time-after-the-Election. For reasons that are already slipping my memory, people are being silly. I head down to a junkyard to see pre-November-4th newspaper spreads of Palin getting blown up by some pretty crazy people.

( Suddenly (and I shit you not), the White House Van draws up. )

And then I wake up, and decide that this dream is probably better than fic, if you just search-replace the word "I" in this entry with "Jon" or "Stephen" or "Anderson" or any other persona of choice. Now the question is - to inflict this on rahmbamarama (I'm looking at you, evercourant, two_if_by_sea, charlie_d_blue, LOOK WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE DONE TO ME. I can't even WITHDRAW from fandom, it sort of follows me home and asks me to look after it!11!) and accuse them of my ills, or to go book myself a spot in a mental institution, hm...

I WAS RANDOMLY SURFING GOOGLE AND OH MY GOD AHAHA rahmbamarama PEOPLE, LOOK AT THIS, THERE ARE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT MY RAHM/ANDERSON FICS IN CHINESE I KEEP READING THEM AND GIGGLING OH MY GOD I HAVE A MEETING IN AN HOUR AND WHAT THE FUCK AND THIS IS BIZARRE AND I KNEW I SHOULD NOT HAVE SLEPT AT THREE IN THE MORNING

HELP, HELP, SANITY SEEMS A STRANGE FOREIGN THING

Language altered to appear suitably Annoyed (R) and Irascible (TM); this post bears only minimal resemblance to members of the public that may or may not be either living and/or dead. I swear.

28/1: Enumerated List of Bureaucratic Stupidity

1. To the American Banking system (and its slew of derivatives): I do not see the need or purpose in your sending my father and myself endless streams of correspondence. I do not need additional paperwork regarding anything to make me feel more self-important about the amount of money this family has deposited in your incredibly (pun fully intended, along with your 0.0000012% per month interest rate) and needlessly complex credit system, and my father is considerably jaded as-is and does not want to be informed, by means of (to date) 7 formal letters, 3 brochures and however many bits and pieces of paper marauding as check(que)books and/or advertisements, that you are Fully Aware of where his money is at any and all times. Rather, I'd be obliged if you left me with less drivel, and more information regarding parts of my account that I should've been informed of beforehand, id est: the drawing limit on my debit card, the fact that said debit card cannot be used for online transactions, and the fact that your company - against all standards of common sense and integrity and the ability to read in sequential lines - managed to not only misspell my name but also managed to rearrange my mailing address such that the second line became the first and the first line became invention. Thank god for postal codes.
   
   
2. To the paper pushers with whom I am communicating in order to secure simple, no-frills interviews and tours of your facilities: I plead with you never to reply to emails with the phrase (verbatim:) "[i]n regards to the unformal meetings". I weep for you, your colleagues, and whoever it is that has to read your reports on a regular basis, Mms. "Manager of International Relations".
   
   
3. To the makers of such movies as Troy: mother of Hades, what are you on, people? I could've forgiven Alexander its woes due to the fact that its casting was doomed to begin with, but Troy? Troy? Troy? One would think that Mssr. Pitt, having acted as a vampire and a gambler and a psychopath and a de-aging-re-aging man, would be able to brush his neatly evolved American accent to one corner and do better than scream (verbatim:) "IMMORTALITY!!!!!! TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", punctuation not exaggerated. Furthermore, Patroclus. If actual further elaboration is necessary: what of the ardent feminisation, and then the constant implications of "cousin", and then the fact that he - and Mssr. Bloom - served only to make Mssrs. Pitt, Bana and Bean seem muscular and manly in comparison? I decline to comment on the bad theatrical execution, the constant (and annoying) soundtrack, and the fact that the depicted Paris could be broken thus by kicking any particularly adorable puppy somewhere in his vicinity.
   
   
4. To my love, gmail: I trust you. Please cease being slovenly; I have work to do.

*g* Okay, I have to stop, otherwise I think my brain will fall apart. But, yes, today has been an interesting day: for one, I've rediscovered the effects of a cup of coffee. Maybe it's just the fact that I'd spent around 9 years of my life getting only four or six hours of sleep per night and then slogging the rest of the day, but I'd never been affected by coffee until a few months ago. Tragedy! For then I could not drink it ere sleeping. I thought that I'd acquired some strange infection of the lymph. Truefact: after sleeping only 2 hours last night and then braving the roads (thankfully dead: I guess everyone's still hung over) on my bicycle, drinking a flat white did nothing more than restore me to humanity, as opposed to pushing me over the edge into Hyped Up Psycholand. Profit!

Additionally: if you live in the Australasian continent and are on my flist, there's a pretty high chance you're getting something in the mail sometime during the next 4-6 days. *BEAM*

Also: note to self, write creepy random boring piece about how the roads were empty. ish.

Thus is my boring life. *sets to writing Tsengfic at last*

[edit] Ended up updating the downingjones section of nasdack; essentially: hell.

[edit] I think I'm going to sit here and stare at AIM for a while, so if anyone wants to catch me in my in between-caffeine-dosage lull, go 'head.

I love Barack Obama. For his cool, for his calm, for the fact that he's picked a bad ass insane beautiful man for his Chief of Staff.

I'm going to introduce you to Rahmn Emanuel, even though I should be studying economics. It's okay. Once I introduce you to Rahm Emanuel, no human being is ever going to look the same again. This guy is insane. And this is the man who won the Democrats their majority.

1. He will beat you. He will beat you hard. Until you bleed. Preferably money.

When raising funds for a Democractic campaign? Rahm sent back checks to people, insulted them, and embarrassed them into sending more money because the checks? Too small.

2. Then he will beat you again.

To a pollster he didn't like? Rahm sent a 2.5 foot long dead fish.

3. Unless he loves you.

To the candidates he's taken care of in his position as DCCC chairman? He sends cheesecakes. From Chicago. To places like Nevada.

4. He will not take your shit.

Upon winning the Democractic majority:

"I'll tell you this," Emanuel shouted out to his staff. "The Republicans may have the 72-hour program. But they have not seen the 22-month program!

"Since my kids are gone, I can say it: They can go ---- themselves!"

5. He will kill you. Kill you dead.

When working for the Clinton campaign, he was bitching with his homies at dinner about the people who were working against them. As he spoke? He stabbed the table. With his steakknife. While saying, "DEAD. DEAD."

Also:

In a fairly typical sign-off, he concluded another call to Sestak: "Don't [mess] it up or ... I'll kill you. All right, I love you. Bye."

Oh, yeah, and he told Tony Blair "not to fuck up".

6. He likes people who might kill you, too.

Emanuel believed in being tough. In September 2005, he described a Vietnam veteran he was trying to recruit this way: "I don't know if he's going to win, but I'll tell you this: I don't want to cross [him]. I think he would take out a knife and kill you. I think he would kill you." Emanuel viewed this as an asset.

7. His brother, Ari? Inspiration for Ari Gold in Entourage.

Can you say, enough said?


Now, I advise you to pursue how he beats the shit out of the Republican policy by reading a LOVE LETTER to OIL LOBBYISTS. I direct you also to a news post, and also to this post with many more links.

Have I mentioned, he's a ballet dancer?

Oh yeah. He is.

Obama and Rahm.

It's going to be a beautiful, interesting four years.

[edit] You know what, I'm going to let BARACK OBAMA do this for me.

Obama: (to someone who writes for the NYTimes) "You are such a literate, erudite guy, it makes me wonder, why are you hanging around with Rahm Emanuel. There are only so many ways to say, "I want to rip your head off." Most of Rahm's vocabulary cannot appear in the Sunday section [of the NYTimes]."

He calls it a "roast" of Rahm Emanuel; Republicans were invited, but some would only "come if there was a real fire".

I AM. IN. FUCKING. LOVE.

[edit] OH GOD I AM SORRY BUT BARACK OBAMA IS SAYING THIS. AND. JUST. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

Obama: "It's fashionable in politics these days to profess your faith ... Rahm lives by this ... he keeps the Sabbath ... he doesn't just talk about the 10 Commandments, he lives them. With some modifications. Uh. The one - "thou shalt not kill ... unless he is a target."

Obama: "In fact, he was the first to adapt Machiavelli's The Prince for dance."

THIS MAN IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.