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Just decided to take a break today on the writing front; I'm so braindead from coming home, doing an exam and then rushing three challenge fics that I blew off a Springkink deadline. I think I'll feel guilty about that, but not until tomorrow morning. 8D
If you've clicked on the cut, you are either extremely bored or extremely kind to me (xD). Whichever the case, if you've got your two cents, I'd be extremely happy to hear from you. Writing on my own is a bit like driving a truck in a pitch dark room; I always think I'm going to crash head-first into a wall...
General Blabber
I used to think that it was kind of weird when authors talked about challenge weariness; now that I've taken part in the first few of my own, I really appreciate the challenges that work like roads_diverged over at IJ: the ones with no time limits, open prompts, zero restrictions. They're barely challenges; they're more encouragements, and sometimes that's all I really need to write.
Doing 0TP and Springkink has forced a lot of words but very little joy out of me; it comes to a point where I'm writing and it's all just so many words. D: It feels like I'm being unfair to the person who put out the prompts when I give them something written that way; they may like it, but I know how badly written it feels (if only to myself), and having that audience there scares the shit out of me sometimes. It makes everything really stiff and static and flat; I keep trying for meaning and plot and purpose, and all I get are blind adages and blerghghgh.
Favourites
Surprise, surprise, Final Fantasy VII. I've been hanging around these boys for so long that it's really fun to step out of RP and do them on my own; fun, but totally terrifying. Looking back, it took a lull in my personal life and Crisis Core to kick me into writing independently. I think the last time I actually wrote fic was in 2006, which is scary - I didn't think it'd been that long.
Really strange that the first thing I wrote coming out was a Tseng/Zack (almost) fic (Fact of the Matter - I love Tseng and the Turks, but SOLDIER never quite hit me in the right places, yet the stuff that got written first is the stuff I'm least comfortable with.
Tseng's grown up into his own little niche; I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the amount of stuff I've written on him. I don't know how he reads to other people; when I do checks I'm so jalksfjasfjla at reading my own stuff that I can't tell. HAI GUYS IF YOU'RE READING THIS 8D 8D On a serious note, I'd really love to know if you think I'm butchering him or something!
Empery, written after a long, good month of producing lots of stuff (none of which I particularly liked) is my baby. It's something that sat inside my head for a while, never really taking voice and never really speaking out, just an idea and a concept and a feeling. It's not very often that those come out right, but Empery was so right on every level that the 6500 words didn't stop once they'd started. It put in place the backstory (emotional, not canonical, or even fanonical) I needed to justify Tseng being abadass killer who he turned out to be in later fics, and the stuff that follows Empery feels a lot stronger for it. First time I've been able to put some of myself (philosophically speaking) into what I've written, which felt three times as good as writing off prompts that I liked but didn't believe in.
New Men came out of the blue: it started with a Luck introspective that felt like it was going nowhere, and ended with the most powerful Tseng and Rufus that I think I've ever managed to write. I always want to make the Turks and the President as strong and forward and unrepentant as I can, and something always gets in the way - usually Rufus, or Tseng's conscience - but this time it just snapped nicely together and ajlfjaksjfaf, I want to be able to keep this up so, so badly. I don't know if I'm the only one who kind of... reflects? refracts? bounces off? how good I feel in RL with what I manage to put down in fic, but whenever Shinra comes together for a few thousand words it's a kind of mental kick, get your life in order; if you can write about it, you can be it.
Survivor: Icicle Inn was like stress relief piled on top of a lot of cackling fun. Life should be like that: laughing while doing what you love. Feel good! ♥ Just chucked all reader expectations and personal standards out of the window, and the end result wasn't too bad.
Now these haven't been so fun
Porn. I don't know why I fail so utterly at it when I write it alone, but god above do I suck at porn. I know the words and the physics and the descriptions, but every time I try to put it in fic it sounds out of place, superfluous and awkward. *makes screaming noies*
Beyond Good, Or: Evil. Even the title sucks. I had the entire thing planned out in my head and it was going to be awesome and brilliant and two thousand words later I realised I hated the ending and didn't know where I was going and was going to waste a lot of good content and then cry moar cry moar nothing happened. D:
Crossed Out. Don't dislike it, but I could've done a lot better by it, methinks, which makes me sad.
Passing Time. AJlsfjalsfjalfsjaljfajsfl why oh why oh why did I choose to write Good Omens; I'm not Gaiman and I'm not Pratchett and I'm not even 10% of what they are and Good Omens has a canon that's absolute on its own and every potential fic has been done a million times and I don't even know where this fic came from ajfljfsl
More?
I really want to be able to write Rufus again. He's such a fucking asshole.
And one day, one day, one day I will write epic Turk fic, and it shall be epic, and it will take me twenty thousand years. I don't know how people see Turks in fandom; the really awesome and cool writers who used to do them have long left, and nowadays I see almost nothing of Tseng, and barely anything of Tseng/Rufus, and downright no Tseng/Veld. Again at people reading this: what are the Turks like to you? Disorganised? Evil? Good? Grey? Full of Crack (TM)? Whipped by the other departments? Whipping the other departments? Professional? Pointless?
Something about Wutai and Tseng; the bastard!Tseng, not the emo!Tseng or the AU!Tseng or the denial!Tseng; something about Tseng in Wutai and being awesome. Maybe. Uh.
Thank you-s
If you've read this far, I think you're amazing. ♥ (I mean, this post is so self-centred and inward-looking that I sorta embarrassed putting it up.) You people have been pretty damned awesome, and I'm really grateful for it. I'm really kind of unused to people reading my stuff, and a lot of it is so blah blah blah that I give ♥ ♥ ♥ to the lot of you who haven't run away screaming. Lots of love! And cuddlings! And leave a prompt here if you want, because anyone who bothers to read this far should get a thousand ficlets!
If you've clicked on the cut, you are either extremely bored or extremely kind to me (xD). Whichever the case, if you've got your two cents, I'd be extremely happy to hear from you. Writing on my own is a bit like driving a truck in a pitch dark room; I always think I'm going to crash head-first into a wall...
General Blabber
I used to think that it was kind of weird when authors talked about challenge weariness; now that I've taken part in the first few of my own, I really appreciate the challenges that work like roads_diverged over at IJ: the ones with no time limits, open prompts, zero restrictions. They're barely challenges; they're more encouragements, and sometimes that's all I really need to write.
Doing 0TP and Springkink has forced a lot of words but very little joy out of me; it comes to a point where I'm writing and it's all just so many words. D: It feels like I'm being unfair to the person who put out the prompts when I give them something written that way; they may like it, but I know how badly written it feels (if only to myself), and having that audience there scares the shit out of me sometimes. It makes everything really stiff and static and flat; I keep trying for meaning and plot and purpose, and all I get are blind adages and blerghghgh.
Favourites
Surprise, surprise, Final Fantasy VII. I've been hanging around these boys for so long that it's really fun to step out of RP and do them on my own; fun, but totally terrifying. Looking back, it took a lull in my personal life and Crisis Core to kick me into writing independently. I think the last time I actually wrote fic was in 2006, which is scary - I didn't think it'd been that long.
Really strange that the first thing I wrote coming out was a Tseng/Zack (almost) fic (Fact of the Matter - I love Tseng and the Turks, but SOLDIER never quite hit me in the right places, yet the stuff that got written first is the stuff I'm least comfortable with.
Tseng's grown up into his own little niche; I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the amount of stuff I've written on him. I don't know how he reads to other people; when I do checks I'm so jalksfjasfjla at reading my own stuff that I can't tell. HAI GUYS IF YOU'RE READING THIS 8D 8D On a serious note, I'd really love to know if you think I'm butchering him or something!
Empery, written after a long, good month of producing lots of stuff (none of which I particularly liked) is my baby. It's something that sat inside my head for a while, never really taking voice and never really speaking out, just an idea and a concept and a feeling. It's not very often that those come out right, but Empery was so right on every level that the 6500 words didn't stop once they'd started. It put in place the backstory (emotional, not canonical, or even fanonical) I needed to justify Tseng being a
New Men came out of the blue: it started with a Luck introspective that felt like it was going nowhere, and ended with the most powerful Tseng and Rufus that I think I've ever managed to write. I always want to make the Turks and the President as strong and forward and unrepentant as I can, and something always gets in the way - usually Rufus, or Tseng's conscience - but this time it just snapped nicely together and ajlfjaksjfaf, I want to be able to keep this up so, so badly. I don't know if I'm the only one who kind of... reflects? refracts? bounces off? how good I feel in RL with what I manage to put down in fic, but whenever Shinra comes together for a few thousand words it's a kind of mental kick, get your life in order; if you can write about it, you can be it.
Survivor: Icicle Inn was like stress relief piled on top of a lot of cackling fun. Life should be like that: laughing while doing what you love. Feel good! ♥ Just chucked all reader expectations and personal standards out of the window, and the end result wasn't too bad.
Now these haven't been so fun
Porn. I don't know why I fail so utterly at it when I write it alone, but god above do I suck at porn. I know the words and the physics and the descriptions, but every time I try to put it in fic it sounds out of place, superfluous and awkward. *makes screaming noies*
Beyond Good, Or: Evil. Even the title sucks. I had the entire thing planned out in my head and it was going to be awesome and brilliant and two thousand words later I realised I hated the ending and didn't know where I was going and was going to waste a lot of good content and then cry moar cry moar nothing happened. D:
Crossed Out. Don't dislike it, but I could've done a lot better by it, methinks, which makes me sad.
Passing Time. AJlsfjalsfjalfsjaljfajsfl why oh why oh why did I choose to write Good Omens; I'm not Gaiman and I'm not Pratchett and I'm not even 10% of what they are and Good Omens has a canon that's absolute on its own and every potential fic has been done a million times and I don't even know where this fic came from ajfljfsl
More?
I really want to be able to write Rufus again. He's such a fucking asshole.
And one day, one day, one day I will write epic Turk fic, and it shall be epic, and it will take me twenty thousand years. I don't know how people see Turks in fandom; the really awesome and cool writers who used to do them have long left, and nowadays I see almost nothing of Tseng, and barely anything of Tseng/Rufus, and downright no Tseng/Veld. Again at people reading this: what are the Turks like to you? Disorganised? Evil? Good? Grey? Full of Crack (TM)? Whipped by the other departments? Whipping the other departments? Professional? Pointless?
Something about Wutai and Tseng; the bastard!Tseng, not the emo!Tseng or the AU!Tseng or the denial!Tseng; something about Tseng in Wutai and being awesome. Maybe. Uh.
Thank you-s
If you've read this far, I think you're amazing. ♥ (I mean, this post is so self-centred and inward-looking that I sorta embarrassed putting it up.) You people have been pretty damned awesome, and I'm really grateful for it. I'm really kind of unused to people reading my stuff, and a lot of it is so blah blah blah that I give ♥ ♥ ♥ to the lot of you who haven't run away screaming. Lots of love! And cuddlings! And leave a prompt here if you want, because anyone who bothers to read this far should get a thousand ficlets!
no subject
And ajlfjalk oh god,
The one time he was in Singapore, I hadn't read his books yet. *___* A month later, I picked up American Gods, and consequently wanted to beat myself to death for not having gone down to his signing. TO LIVE IN A LARGE, CON-HOLDING COUNTRY! Now the opportunities are scarce at best. D: D:
no subject
And I did not think of cloning, dammit. I was too busy trying not to flush and stare at his awe inspiring mass of hair. And his voice. Gads, that man has a voice on him.
Darn, that is a case of bad timing! He'll probably be back though, he's always hopping everywhere at the sounds of it. You have to jump him if he gets back to you, seriously!
no subject
but first I must stop myself from turning them into samurai and/or ronin omg. 8D*whimpers* Sexy brain + sexy voice + crazy hair jalfjaslf. Please, sir Gaiman, come to this pathetic island once more. *hopes* He's so damned -- cool is the only word I can think of using. He's probably the only man on earth who can wear that word without sounding like a dork. Neil Gaiman is cool.
no subject
Heh heh. They'd be uber hot as ronins. I'd be in ronin heaven. Am very pleased it's a prompt worth of a fic, it's such a nice waka. Yay yay! *cheers* *spazzes again at the thought of Gaiman*
no subject
Zack would be the first and last ronin to stab himself with his own sword. By accident.no subject
oh, my dear dear Zack. We know him only too well. Bless.